Colonial Theater, Phoenixville, PA Saturday, June 10, 2023

eX-Fest, the annual 12-hour marathon of exploitation and genre films projected almost exclusively in 35mm run by Exhumed Films, is one of my favorite times of year. I start making my plans to attend months in advance. Much like their 24-Hour Horror-thon, they don’t announce what they’re showing until it is actually shown. He most you get is a schedule with vague clues about the films and approximate start times.

Here’s what was shown, along with the clues given. With Horror-thon, there’s a contest to see who could get the most correct before the start of the marathon. I’m usually amazed if I get even one right, but I actually managed to guess two of the seven films shown this year.

Film #1 – 90’s Hong Kong action classic

This must’ve been a very rare, pristine print of the English dubbed version of this film. So rare that the title it was given, “Hard Boiled 2”, isn’t even listed on the film’s IMDb page. As is usual in these Hong Kong “sequels”, the only thing in common may be an actor or two. In this case, it’s Chow Yun-fat and Anthony Wong. They play two criminal friends living in Bangkok who wind up getting involved with an arms heist to pay off a debt. They run afoul of Judge, played by Simon Yam in a way that goes so far beyond the queer-coded villain to be fascinating.

Director Ringo Lam ably handles the action scenes and nails the relationships between the characters who wind up becoming involved in a love triangle when one of them is left for dead. Don’t want to spoil anything else about this one, so I’ll just leave it with a hearty reccomendation to seek this one out.

Film #2 – Amazing drama/action film inspired by – but not really a part of – the Blaxploitation genre

This is one of the two I managed to guess correctly. “The Spook Who Sat By the Door” is director Ivan Dixon’s follow-up to the highly lauded “Trouble Man”, which came out the year before. The film is based on the 1969 novel of the same name by Sam Greenlee, about the first black agent of the CIA who takes what he learned from The Compoany and uses it to start a guerilla insurgency within the black community of Chicago before spreading out nationwide.

Grrenlee was in the United States Intelligence Agency, working for a decade in the Middle East and Mediterranean region before becoming an author. He also co-wrote the screenplay with Melvin Clay. The film was primarily shot in Gary, Indiana bacuse Chicago mayor Richard J. Daley was worried about the themes of racial strife causing problems in his city.

The film has been very hard to find for many years. Many involved in the film felt that the CIA and other agencies had a hand in suppressing the film from getting a wider release than it did. It’s a shame, because it is a very engaging and entertaining film dealing with issues that we are still dealing with today.

Earlier this month, filmmaker/rapper/Communist activist Boots Riley spoke about Sam Greenlee and the film, saying that he had issues with them and didn’t trust Greenlee’s motives. He noted that Greenlee was given an award for bravery in trying to keep King Faisal of Iraq, who was loyal to American interests, in power during the Iraqi revolution in 1958. Also Riley stated that the tactics talked about in the film weren’t anything that wasn’t already known and utilized by groups at that time.

These are thing to thinmk about, but the film is worth seeing on it’s own merits. I’m glad I was able to have my first chane to watch it in full on the big screen.

Film #3 – 1970’s Hicksploitation / Swampsploitation favorite

The only other one I got right. Of course, very few films could ever fit that description. A fine example of regional filmmaking, set in the swamplands west of New Orleans. The film follows Playboy Playmate Claudia Jennings as Dedsiree Thibodeau, a poacher living with her younger brother and sister deep in the bayou trying to keep ahead of the law. When a deputy accidentally kills a friend while chasing after her, the deputy blames it on Desiree. This sets off a chain of events where the sheriff and the hillbilly family of the dead man hunt down Desiree and her family.

There is a rape scene that thankfully doesn’t go as far as others have, but it still a rough watch. THe fun of the film is following Claudia Jenning and her proto Daisy Dukes getting the best of the law and the rednecks. Not the best film of the day, but a good respite before what was to come…

Film #4 – Brutal, rarely screened exploitation / religious allegory

https://youtu.be/RUFpMhw-JMY

This one was certainly the roughest film of the day. Known in Italian as Seduto alla sua destra (“Sitting On His Right”), this 1968 film is both a retelling of the final days of Patrice Lumumba, former Prime Minister of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and a not-so-subtle passion play. Woody Strode plays the rebel leader Maurice Lalubi, who is captured by Belgian authorities, arrested of false charges, tortured and eventually executed on behalf of the new leaders of the Congo. All the figures you’d expect in an allegory of Christ’s final days are here… a stand-in for Judas… Pontius Pilate… being picked up after he falls on the way to his execution. the “Sitting On His Right” of the original title refers to a thief who is captured and shares a cell with Lalubi. The Good Thief all the way.

It wasn’t that badly acted, espcially by Woody Strode, but it was a rough film to watch. During the torture scene, my initial fear when I saw the nails come out was that they’d be barbaric and insinuate that they’d go under the fingernails (a nasty torture technique talked about for years). They are put through his hands in keeping with the biblical imagery, but it wasn’t much comfort. I hadn’t heard much about this film before, and I’d have been fine not knowing any more about it.

Thankfully, the next film was a definite palate cleanser…

Film #5 – Dumb, fun peplum / sword-and-sandal silliness

Cannon Films trying to cash in on the success of “Conan the Barbarian” and “Clash of the Titans”? Directed by Luigi Cozzi, a master of the Italian knock-off? Starring Lou Ferrigno?? How could you resist?!

This mix of peplum (sword-and-sandal film) and sci-fi takes many goofy turns, like Hercules’ battle with a giant bear which ends with the bear being thrown into space to become Ursa Major. It joyously careens from one ridiculous set piece to another with very little connective tissue.

Initially, this film was supposed to be much more adult themed as evident by the casting of Sybil Danning, usually known for getting nude at the drop of a hat. However, once Lou Ferrigno was cast, he started working to make it more kid friendly and it shows.

Italian films are usually filmed without sound and the voices are dubbed in later, sometimes by other actors. This means that we miss out on hearing Hercules talk like Lou Ferrigno instead of a random stentorian actor. He has voiced the Hulk from the days of the original TV series to as recently as “Thor: Ragnarok”. I’d love to hear that voice saying this dialog. I can imagine it being like Arnie’s vocal track on “Hercules in New York”. Oh, what a missed opportunity…

Film #6 – Schlocky Filipino crime craziness

Much like “The One Armed Boxer” and “The One Armed Swordsman”, “The One Armed Executioner” is a pretty straightforward revenge film. An Interpol agent vows to avenge the death of his young wife and his arm being chopped off. He spirals into depression and alcoholism before beginning an intense training regimen to get into shape to do batlle with the entire gang on his own.

Not much here that hasn’t been seen before. Fun for what it is. I think the biggest issue was that the print was in rough shape. For some reason it was missing important shots, like the moment the man’s arm actually gets cut off. It’s called “The One Armed Executioner”; you want to see why he only has one arm. The most you see is the arm “wriggling” on the ground with some fake blood dotting some newspapers. Very lame. Still, fine for what it was.

Film #7 – Shaw Brothers Kung Fu classic

The final film of the day was this classic Shaw Brothers film directed by the prolific Chang Cheh (“The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires”, “Five Deadly Venoms”). It’s unusual in that it’s both set in modern times (late 1970s, in this case) and mostly set in San Francisco’s Chinatown. I say “set” because most of it was shot on backlots in Hong Kong with only establishing shots filmed on location. This becomes obvious when you see all the events seem to take place in one block and cars with steering wheels on the wrong side.

The film follows two young men from different sides of the class divide in Hong Kong coming to America and becoming friends while working and squatting at the same restaurant in Chinatown. They both go down different paths, being enticed by local gangsters and drugs. The story can be confusing to follow but it’s mainly there to get you from one fight to the next, and they don’t disappoint.

The print we watched was the 115-minute “export” cut dubbed into English, so the whole thing didn’t end until closer to 1:00 AM. Everyone stubled out, drained but satisfied by the event. Earlier that day, I was able to purchase my ticket for Exhumed’s big event, the 24-Hour Horror-thon. It’s scheduled for October 20th & 21st at the Colonial, running from noon Saturday to noon Sunday. I’ve been attending them steadily since the second event back in 2008. I will certainly fill everone in on that utter descent into madness. I can’t wait…